Positive Parenting: The Benefits and How to Implement It

You're a mom. You've been through the wringer. You've changed enough diapers to fill a small landfill, and you're pretty sure you've been peed on more times than you can count.

But guess what? You're also a superhero. And part of your superpower is the ability to improve your child's life with positive parenting.

What is positive parenting? Positive parenting (also known as gentle parenting, respectful parenting, conscious parenting, mindful parenting, or intentional parenting) is based on the principles of building trust, setting limits, and showing respect for children.

It involves developing a supportive relationship with your child so that they feel secure, loved, and valued. When parents use positive parenting techniques, it can result in happier kids (and parents!), lower rates of problem behavior, and improved academic performance. 

Sounds great so far, right? So how do you become a positive parent? Keep reading to find out!

The Benefits of Positive Parenting

Positive parenting is a great way to encourage connection between parents and children, creating an atmosphere of trust and respect. It isn't about being perfect all the time - let me say that again for the people in the back - IT ISN'T ABOUT BEING PERFECT ALL OF THE TIME! It's about understanding and modeling that mistakes are powerful learning opportunities.

There are many positive benefits to positive parenting - from an increased mutual understanding between parent and child to improved communication skills, greater cooperation with household rules, and even lower stress for everyone in the family!

With connection as its foundation, positive parenting helps foster deeper relationships within the family, so your little ones will grow up confident and secure. Plus, it might just save you a few gray hairs down the line!

How to Implement Positive Parenting Techniques

Positive parenting techniques can sound like a lot of hard work - but it doesn't have to be that way!

One easy way to start implementing positive parenting is by praising the good behavior that you see. This can go a long way in encouraging those desirable behaviors, rather than just focusing on things you don't want your child to do.

Have you ever told your child to STOP doing something (like, "stop eating the dog's food") only to find that they keep doing it? That's because those little brains are focusing on the action itself - not the "don't" or "stop" that's coming before it.

Focus on what you want your child TO do. Instead of "don't jump on the couch" you can tell them where they CAN jump...or in the dog food example, tell them what they CAN eat. (Ah. Kids.)

A huge principle of positive parenting is to model the behavior that you expect of your children - in other words, do it yourself! You'd better believe that those little eyes and ears are watching and listening to everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) you say and do. (If your two-year-old has dropped the "f-bomb", then you totally know what I mean.)

Set Clear Expectations that are Developmentally Appropriate

Have you ever given instructions to a child, only to find that they had a completely different interpretation of your expectations than what you thought?

It’s important to make sure that when giving instructions, you're setting up expectations that are suitable for their age and development level. Otherwise, trying to explain things over and over may feel like banging your head against the wall.

One tip is to break down directions into single steps, or MAX 2 if your child can handle it. Multi-step directions that seem simple to adults (such as, "open the closet, get your shoes, coat, and hat and put them on") can be too complicated for a young child.

Keeping age-appropriate expectations in mind will keep you from repeating yourself a bazillion times, and maybe even keep your toddler from twirling 12 times before they put on their other shoe...but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Setting consistent limits and expectations for your child is a biggie. For example, if screen time is capped at two hours a day, make sure everyone in the family sticks to it. This can be hard at times, but trust that the consistency will pay off.

If you need help with understanding what is age appropriate for your child or how to establish and hold boundaries, check out my 12-week coaching program and parenting course, The Transformed Parent. You can learn more here.

Show Unconditional Love and Acceptance to Your Child

Unconditional love and acceptance for a child is one of the most special gifts you can give them.

Showing your unconditional love can be as simple as taking time out of your day to listen and express an understanding with them... and I mean fully listen - not giving them a nod and an "uh huh" or "cool" when they show you their latest Lego creation, 'cause we've all been there!

Showing your child that you accept them, along with any mistakes they may have made, can help boost their self-esteem and make them feel truly loved.

Taking a humorous approach when trying to explain things to children can also help show your support - even the silliest jokes will make all the difference in letting them know they are not alone in life, which brings me to my next tip...

Regularly Connect with Your Child Through Activities and Conversations

Surprises, playful moments, and meaningful conversations — these all make up memorable experiences that can bring parents and children closer together.

Taking time out to engage in regular activity or playtime for your children is the perfect chance for meaningful conversations and an invaluable way to stay connected with their inner lives. No matter what you end up discussing, that special one-on-one connection will always be there.

One way to do this is through what I call "10-Minute Magic." Simply schedule 10 minutes (or more) with each of your children on their own - no phones or distractions allowed!

Allow your child to direct the play and pick what they want to do with you. This is a great way to establish and strengthen the bond between you and your little one.

And don't forget to be SILLY! Being playful is such a good strategy for gaining cooperation and avoiding power struggles - plus it's FUN! So feel free to stomp like a dinosaur on the way to the bathroom or fly your child to the dinner table to pretend they're an airplane. The giggles alone are worth it.

Acknowledge Mistakes as Learning Opportunities and Make Repairs when Necessary

Acknowledging mistakes as learning opportunities with your child is one of the biggest parenting wins. It helps repair the relationship between parent and child, showing that making mistakes is a natural part of life and nothing to be ashamed of.

Plus, it gives you both an opportunity to re-evaluate what happened, figure out how it could've gone better, and find ways that similar situations can be avoided in the future.

No one is perfect. We're not trying to be perfect parents and we're not trying to raise perfect kids. There is no such thing. When something goes wrong, take it as an opportunity for everyone involved to learn and grow!

How to Maintain a Positive Outlook as a Parent

Being a parent can be extremely hard, but there's a secret to making it a little easier - mindset.

A little shift in your mindset can go a long way.

So how do we shift our mindset to a more positive one when your kid literally just threw his spaghetti all over the freshly painted walls?

Pause. Breathe.... Then repeat and practice this a million times.

Think of something you're thankful for - I mean, check out the arm on your two-year-old! You can't deny that was a great throw. ;)

This doesn't happen overnight, but once you start to shift your mindset, you'll notice a shift in your mood (and probably the overall vibe of your days too).

Also, try to focus on little daily wins - the smile your kid gave you when they saw their favorite breakfast or the hug you got when that setback happened. Reminding yourself of these small moments can give you a sense of optimism and appreciation, while also teaching kids the power of being grateful.

Self-care is a biggie. I can go on and on about this, but if needed, take some time out for yourself so you can refocus and keep your spirits up. Whether it's an afternoon yoga session or a simple cup of coffee with your partner, doing something for yourself can keep your mindset in check and help you stay positive even in difficult times. Easier said than done, I know. Remember, practice, practice, practice!

There you have it, momma! These are just a few of the many benefits that come along with implementing positive parenting in your home.

I know that being a parent isn’t always easy, but hopefully, these tips will help make the journey a little bit more enjoyable.

Looking for more help with positive parenting? Check out my 12-week parenting course and 1:1 coaching program that will completely TRANSFORM your parenting.

Did you find these tips helpful? Let me know in the comments below.