9 Simple Steps to Get Your Child to Play Independently

Feeling overwhelmed as a parent? Let's face it, sometimes we need our kids to play independently so that mom and dad can have some much-needed time for themselves. 

But independent play is more than just an adult sanity saver; it also teaches your child important skills like self-confidence, problem-solving, and creativity! 

So if this is something you're struggling with (no shame - parenting isn't always easy!), check out this post on 9 tips to help get your little one playing solo in no time - without any guilt involved either!

Prefer to watch instead of read? Check out my YouTube video: 

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1. Start Gradually

Don’t think that this is going to happen overnight - because it’s NOT. 

You need to start gradually. Begin by asking your child to play for a few minutes at a time, and then slowly increase the amount of time that they spend playing independently. This will help them get used to the idea of playing on their own for longer periods of time. 

Which brings me to my next tip…

2. Use a Timer

A timer will be your BEST FRIEND. 

You can tell your child that you will put the timer on and they will play on their own until the timer goes off. 

I also love doing this when Luke asks me to play while I’m in the middle of doing something. I’ll set a timer for how long it’s going to take me to finish whatever I’m doing and then I tell him that when the timer goes off, then I’ll come to play with him. This helps to give kids something concrete to connect with the concept of time.  

Bonus points if you snag a visual timer for them, like this one! This helps them actually see how much time is left and is great for SOOO many things in your daily routine!

3. Model Playing Independently

One of the best ways to encourage independent play is to model it yourself. 

Make sure your child sees you doing things that you enjoy on your own. You can also model this during play using your child’s toys. When your child sees you playing on your own, they'll be more likely to want to do it themselves. 

So for example, I’ll start playing with my son’s cars or trucks while he’s in the room, but not playing with me directly in order for him to see me playing on my own. 

4. Set Up Your Play Space

When it comes to getting your child to play on their own, it helps to have an inviting, safe play space set up. 

Think about how your child’s play area is currently. Are there toys all over? Is it cluttered? Does your child even HAVE a designated play space? 

If not, then you’re definitely going to want to set up an area that is specifically for play - this does NOT have to be a whole room. A corner in a room is perfectly fine. 

You want to set up your child's play space so that it supports and encourages their creative exploration. This includes providing a variety of toys, art supplies, and other materials that your child can use on their own.

Also, cut down on the clutter! Too many toys can actually overwhelm a child to the point where they don’t know where to even START playing! (See tip #9 for how to fix this)😉. 

5. Give them Space, but Stay Close and Check-In

I recommend staying close when first trying to implement independent play to make your child more comfortable with the process - so maybe try something like sitting across the room from where they are playing. 

As your child gets used to playing on their own, you can move further across the room or even into another room. Just be sure to check in on them occasionally and let them know that you're still nearby and available if they need you.  

6. Give Your Child a Task

There is a quote by Maria Montessori that says, “play is the work of the child.”

It is vital to let your child choose how and what they play (which is also known as free play or unstructured play), but - you guiding them from time to time is okay too. 

One thing that can help your child focus on playing independently is to give them a specific task or goal to work on. This could be something as simple as building a block tower or putting together a puzzle - so don’t go nuts! 

7. Praise Your Child when they Play Independently

When your child is playing independently, you should really try not to interrupt them because there is some serious WORK going on in that little brain of theirs. 

BUT, when they are done, you can mention how nicely you noticed they were playing on their own. This can help build their self-esteem and encourage them to keep playing independently in the future. 

8. 10-Minute Magic

If you really want to give your child a boost toward independent play, try the "10 Minute Magic" technique. 

This involves spending at least 10 uninterrupted minutes with your child each day, doing something that they enjoy - no distractions and NO PHONES (trust me, I am so guilty of this one!). 

This quality time will help to build a strong connection between you and your child, and it will also give them the confidence to play on their own.

During this special time with your child, let THEM pick what they want to do with you and try to let them guide the play. 

I also recommend doing this at the beginning of their play session, if possible. I’ve definitely noticed that if I play with Luke when he first goes to play, he’ll usually go off and play on his own without me even saying anything. 

9. Toy Rotation

To keep kids interested in playing independently, try a toy rotation!  Rotating or changing up their toys can help to keep things fresh and fun for kids, while also encouraging them to use their imaginations in new ways. 

If you want to know more about how to implement a toy rotation in your home, you can check out this video. 

Just remember that independent play is essential for children, as it allows them to explore their creativity and imagination, learn problem-solving skills, and boost their self-confidence. 

With these tips, you can help your child to start playing independently and reap the many benefits that come with it...like sitting on the couch and sipping some HOT coffee. 

What are some of your favorite ways to encourage independent play? Let us know in the comments!